The card.
Micah and I limped our way through last night.
At 4:30 he wouldn't go back down (not uncommon) so I handed him over to Shane, told him that I don't think I can do this anymore, had a good cry and went back to bed. Later in the morning I woke and saw how itchy Micah was, how bad his skin looked, how much there was to do and I had another cry. I silently prayed for help all morning. A friend in the ward took Sage and Micah and I braved the grocery store. When I say brave I mean braved. On days when my emotions are at the surface I have to steel myself a bit for the stares and questions. And I have to steel myself for a wriggly, itchy Micah who will need to to be held while we shop, not so easy these days with a big belly and minimal energy.
When we got to the checkout a lovely lady ahead of us said hello and looked at Micah with such love it was unnerving. I wondered, Do I know her? Does she have a child with eczema? She started to speak to me and I started to cry. I tried to keep my sobs in check while I listened to her lovely kind words.
She handed me her card, hugged me, told me she loved me and left. More tears but this time happy tears. I like to think Heavenly Father sent this stranger to let me know that He loves me and knows what I am feeling.
The questions in my mind are still the same: "How can we get Micah better?" and "How will we manage him and a newborn?" but at least I know I'll make it through this day on the kindness of a stranger.
9 comments:
That women is an example to us all. The lord used her to help bless you and give you strength. Our prayers our with your family.
alicia, you don't really know me but I'm shane's cousin. I've been reading about your plight with Micah, and keep feeling like I should be doing something to help. I don't know how I can help, or if I know some of the right doctors to talk to, but would love to hear more about what you've done already, and maybe I can help? Don't know, but if you get a chance my email is lhone@byu.net
I am praying for you and your family Alicia. I wish I knew what to do to fix it. :(
I love you so much and wish I was there to help you and cry with you. and of course do the dishes ;)
Big lump in my throat. Big prayer of thanks for that beautiful woman. Another prayer that I can pay it forward to someone -- be that lady to someone in need. Tender mercies. I love you. Keep calm. Carry on.
This made me cry. About the happy tears part. And about how hard this is. I will hold your newborn as much as I can. And do anything else you want me to do when we live close. Probably the best lesson I've learned through all of our trials is that I know that Heavenly Father is so very aware of us, even during our worst times. Also, that as painful as it is, we are being shaped into something better while we suffer. I love you sis! You inspire me.
I've been reading your blog for a while, since you tried NAET. I'm the one that told you about LDN. Believe me, I know what you are dealing with and what a struggle it is to try to get your kid healthy. After several doctors, we finally found a wonderful Ped that helped us get to the root of my son's issues --inflammation. We treated his skin from the outside with a good skin care routine (daily warm baths, followed by medicated/steroid creams, followed by CeraVe which is OTC.) At the same time we treated from the inside--for my 3 YO it was 4000 IUs of Vitamin D3 (there's so much great research showing how D3 boots immunity and increases our skin's natural antibiotics), 100 Billion cfus of probiotics, and a good fish oil (not cod liver) like the one by Nordic Naturals. I'm so relieved to say that my son's skin is beautiful now, and NAET has been helping him eat more foods. Have you been out to National Jewish in Denver as they're suppose to be the leaders on eczema, although I'm not sure what more they would tell you other than to wet wrap. Also, pregnant mom's need extra Vitamin D, I think the recommendation is 5000 IUs/day. I wish you success, you will beat this!
Sorry, I had a typo. My kid is on 2000 IUs of Vit D3. The guidelines are 35 IUs per pound of body weight, at the time we started my son was 29 pounds so he was prescribed a dose that was double of the guideline and still takes 2000 IUs to this day (he'll be 5 in May.)
Hey Alicia,
I don't know if you remember this from when we were kids, but I had terrible eczema when I was a kid. It covered my whole body. I remember what it feels like to have people look at me. But I had the best family in the world, and that made all the difference. Sounds like Micah has the best family in the world, too:). I hope he feels better, and if you ever need any eczema support, please let me know.
Love,
-Vanessa Parr
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